21.9.05
officially outcasted
wonderful..ive been officially outcasted..by my own sister..
had a bad dream last nite..dreamt tat my own sis (nt gonna say which 1)..is going away..n not coming back..telling me..da last to know..on da very day of da departure..when i saw her packing her stuff n buying air tickets via phone..=~( n best ting is..i dunno y i dreamt it was happening at our old hse..haiz..feel so sad..
been da 2nd wk since i took money from dad..EVEN SINCE I GOT MY ONE WHOLE MONTH SALARY..!! jus in case some ppl doesnt know..sad tat nw no1 tries to understand me nowadays..nt even my own kin..=~( i can feel tat SHE doesnt wans to talk to me..kicking me aside..ever since i 1]refuse to help sis to do da business ting..(nt tat i dun wan to help..jus tat i dun wish to be involve in business stuff as i know i haf a chance to screw up..u wan me go up mountain go down sea..die on ur behalf i dun mind..can help in watever but tat...) 2] after listening to dad's complain..nt tat im denying all tat..but haf u listen to my side of story..? i tried nt to see doc..save money..go work while im sick..but i cant take it..my body cant take it..n im really at home resting..plus u know i dun really shop..i hardly buy stuff..except for da usual t-shirts tat i aim for very long...
really feeling down..been losing slp lately..hafing being treated like tat..i jus wan da gd old times back..da coffees..da going out..they hardly haf time also..or rather they onli bother tat whether im earning to feed myself..am i doing da rite tings..go ahead..complain abt me all u wan..like u all usually do...where r u gals when i needed u..? getting disappointed wif wat i wan..discouragement is all i got..i wan to study..i wan go sign on..but they dun haf da vacancy nw..wat u expect me to do but wait..? i am still working..i am trying my best if can avoid ncc activties..but do u all realise it..? i do need ur support too..but guess u all r jus bz shaping ur life..jus take care..dun over worked urself...health is equally imptly in life..
ciaoz...
Posted by dotsux at 9/21/2005 12:44:00 am